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I sorta...

feel like my life is a little bit directionless again. like swimming in a pool with no lane ropes and no lane-lines on the bottom and very dim lighting. and somehow i have to swim some event that I havent been informed about...yeah, thats a pretty good description.

This could be good or bad, I suppose. What is direction exactly? I dont know. We live life and it continues day and day out until it doesnt anymore (this point was a topic of debate last night with me and f) But Ive settled into really needing to be in my head these days. ---a fact which is really bad for camera purposes ---

but you know what? i cant care about it. I cant feel guilty. I cant be anything other than who I am. (and if i do let this get to me, it will undermine everything) sometimes i am camera focused and sometimes I am not. and that is the realtionship that develops when you do this sort of this for a long time. life has to be about life. not cameras. and thats why livecasting needs journals. because often, i find, when i need to just let the camera and viewers be, I get more verbose in my journal. or twitter, or with a still camera, or whatever. a nice mixture of media communication is good.

im going to Pittsburgh this weekend to do a podcast with Techburgh. I need to find my Nokia. My flight leaves at 8:30 am tomorrow and I return around 8pm on Sunday night. short trip. I can barely afford it after my impulsive and subsequently necessary trip to SFO last weekend. ....(cont. friends only)