Tim sings from the basement. They have broken a mirror and are using the pieces to create a lite design on the wall of the bathroom. i will go join them after i have finished writing. For some reason I have done more livejournal and personal writing over the past week than camera work. i think it is a stage and i can only hope that my readers/ viewers are not dissapointed in my lack of pictures. i do have many stills of the weekend plus many from days passed. i will post these this week, as it is much easier to post pictures than it is video.
i have discovered that i live my life in stages. i always think i have made a permanent change in my temperment, or habits, but i soon find i am onto something else. perhaps changes stay, but i do not focus on them. in any case, this constant state of flux is exciting. i talk with older people and they look at me fondly, as if they were the same way "when they were younger". i am scared that someday the stages will stop and i will be left constant, patternized. this fear grips me and i realize that i soon will be 23. soon after i will be 30 and then 40. i pray that i will not grow too wise. i like learning and growing and shrinking and finding new ways to live, new people to kiss, new friends to love. i ohpe i will never be satisfied with a cabin in the woods with my dog and the trees.
meanwhile, in the present day the sunlight still shines and the afternoon breeze still caresses my skin. i am to meet Domenic later for a vegan BBQ. i must admit, my overwhelming desire for him clouds any sort of good judgement, and i will find myself at the BBQ, not knowing anyone but him. i hope that by 7:00pm, i am still in social enough a mood to enjoy mingling with new people. sometimes i am not. sometimes i want to run away suddenly, and walk by myself. i suppose after a few drinks i will feel better about things. i am happy he called to invite me. i cannot wait to see him.