i know this feeling will pass in a few hours when there are other concerns on my mind. At the latest, I will wake up tomorrow with a head full of import/export problems. For now, the afternoon is lulled by the leftover intoxication which I cannot completely explain, of even recognize in full. I wonder what Renzo would say. I suppose it really doesnt matter. I am happy to swim in the pool of now. I wonder if I will feel like swimming i the pool of now when I am 30. We talked about that last night. Got on the topic of marraige and getting older. would I be happy single and 60? It'd hard to say. I guess its less about sex then and more about friendship. (although, maybe not, but i dont wanna think about THAT!!) In any event, I wondered if good friends would be the same. I concluded they would be. I wondered if society is what makes me feel like i should somehow find "someone" before I get too old.
I must calm down. Tim is coming over soon. I don't think hes in a very good mood, so some cheering and fresh baked cookies are an order. That poor boy is certainly living the hard life in NYC. I mean, hes sharing a 500 square foot apt with 2 other guys to lower the rent! ack!
He should be here any time. I should wrap this up. I dont feel like I expressed my emotions at all!
I hate feeling trapped like this.