March 16th, 2001

why do i always come across as unhappy?

you know, its a funny thing. i was just chatting with this guy phil. phil does the printing for the company i work for. You know..we design the graphics and he prints them. Charles and Frank are never quite happy with the finished thing, and phil is never happy about us. I find it humorous. In any case, yes, we wre chatting, and he comes out and asks why i am always unhappy. I told him that im a little down because i cant do all the things i want to do.

i want computers and to live closer to the city...
But, I guess I must really be tired and stressed, because Im not really unhappy.

Im listening to the Bladerunner soundtrack..the love theme,,i think its track 5. It has a lonely sort of sound, defining a girl in her office, or at a smoky bar, or any one person needing something more out of life.

But yes, back to my subject, all in all, im very happy. I should take a shower. I should get my hair done. I should do a few more sit ups. I can't wait to be a blonde again!!

I dont know what the hell im talking about, but I do know it was nice talking to phil. I told him I have a lot of friends in the city, including terri, who actually lives near him, but the reality of it is that im too busy to see any of them, and with the J getting upset whenever i want to do something by myself..
well, it was just nice to chat.

i think the problem is that im lonely. i want to go out more. i need to meet people. im a social all know that. its so hard for me to be cooped up like i have been. i moved to this place to get out and take it over, not work all day and pass out and work my weekends.

why take a shower, put on lipstick and be fierce for your desk lamp?

something must be done for this.

more glitter, and more trouble.
more fierce