June 19th, 2001

calling god on the phone

theres this woman thats always on the phone when i pass the booth on park ave. her paper bags lean up against the adjacent wall. he legs are bandaged, but you can see some sort of fluid leaking through the swollen mass. shes always haveing some important argument with nobody.

i wonder what it would like to be that out of it. just one little slip and i could be there. and then i start thinking about life and our perspectives and how it can all change so fast. im happy to be as lucky as i have been, but then again, maybe im that woman, and i dont even know it, and im dreaming this one night as i sleep next the bags next to the wall.

i took all my cd's back from the J last night. he claimed he didnt have any, but he returned a three inch stack, and i ended up dancing around my room for about an hour to all this music i havent heard in a long time. what a way to spend the midnight hour.

missed the Ds calls again. ima freak.
or as the D puts it. Im a robot.

1 800 lunch

on hold with apple computer trying to figure out why my loan number isnt working. joy joy and classical music. at least its on shaggy, or something. that would be truly painful.

my day has consisted of fretting about sherwin williams and how the trucker delivered their shipment of octanediol on pallets when they shouldnt have. this is the second time this has happened nad mitsui, the distributor is threatening to take away the business if it happens again. frustrating cause i cant exactly ride in the truck. i can only stamp no pallets on the packing list and bother the sales contact at Gemini until he falls over. i did that last time though, and see where it got to me. grrr.

i have three orders to complete this afternoon...that will take up a little time, since one of them is anew customer. sorta counting the hours before i get off of work today.

as for future site content, ill be aquiring a computer soon. i am actually purchasing it today, so whenever it arrives, is whenever i can download pix and create webpages and update my site. so sit tight and ill follow through. again, i amm sooo appreciative for the funding.

i need to focus. my mind has been in the clouds with the J and the D and the project and money and all of that. I actually tried to enter the subway once on the saturday and yesterday morning, on the way to work, and i forgot to swipe my card. once in a while is embarassing, but twice in the same weekend, is pretty depressing. i dont know how i forget, but i sorta waltz into the bar, and it give s a loud clank and i fold over it as it painfully gouges into my waist. someone always has a smart comment too. "uh...you need a token, hon."
yeah,no kidding.