December 15th, 2001

(no subject)

i awoke this morning looking out of our one big window. The clouds were racing each other across the sunny sky and i knew it must be chilly. I gazed woozily, and swallowed to test if my throat still hurt (which it did). I grimaced, watched a klingon cruiser shaped cloud fly by, and decided that if i was seeing star trek out my window, it was indeed time to wake up. I have much to do today. I am leaving for my old place in Ft Green to pack up, so on Monday I can swing by, and load boxes and animals and get back here ASAP. If I can find vaccination documents, I wont need to take Ifrit into the vet today, but I have a feeling that they be lost in the clutter that is my old apartment. I will be searching though, because I would really like not to have to wait those 2 weeks before we can take care of him. Stacy is looking though the Ikea catalog. Its one of those things where you look though and see all this stuff and then forget about it, of get overwhelmed, and dont but the stuff you were looking at. We have to go to Long Island Ikea to get my bed because they still dont have it in stock through the phone order. I guess thats ok, cause i wont have to pay shipping. Hope the bed frame is still there, or i might cry.

I need to get a move on.

shes dead

she is. i couldnt believe it.
I cried all afternoon.

Stopped in at petland on my way over to the old place. picked up some mice for TIGA. the busses were working with me and i was over there and in the door in no time. the unfamiliar smell filled my nostrils as i squatted down with a bag full of paperwork in search of Ifrit's vaccination documents. I found them. I called to change the appointment to tomorrow for immediate surgery.

I walked into Jeramy's room and noticed the heat lamp was turned off yet again on TIGA's cage. I looked in on her. My heart stopped. Her head was tilted to the side in a way i was all too familiar with. this is how Malah-jara looked when I found her dead. No no no . it couldnt be. I ripped the guitar, and shirts and cologne off the top of the cage . No no no . I put ina hand to feel her. she hadnt been dead long, and i thought for some stupid reason i could bring her back to life. i picked her up and pet her, tried to warm her up. tears were running down my face as i imagined this animal in so desparate need of warmth dying in the cold that was my apartment. I called Stacy and vented for 15 minutes. I was sad at first, and then grew angry. How many times had i asked Jeramy to PLEASE leave the heat lamp on. Its an infrared lamp...dim nothing disturbing. He;s not paying electricity bills..how hard can it be? but noooo, every time id come over the lamp would be off. and now...

this on top of discovering 2 days ago that my fish was also dead because noone bothered to fill the water level an inch to keep the filter running...so it burned out and the fish suffocated. An noone had called ot tell me this. i had to discover it aafter christal and noelle skipped town.

I am so dissapointed in christal and Jeramy. Completely and totally. I thought these people had some sort of conscience when it came to pets, but i guess not. And Christal...i was letting her stay at my place out of the goodness of my heart and i specifically asked her to watch the water level and feed the fish!! Im taking Ifrit away and giving him the best life i possibly can. At least my lizards are alive. I am so upset, i cant even type this fast enough. the first wave of disbelief and hurt keeps rushing over me.

Jeramy called to apologize, but im so tired of his apologies. he always lets me down. guess thats why we're not together.