December 22nd, 2001

(no subject)

i drank so much that i cannot remember what happened after tim left. Its very strange, and my head feels different that it ususally does after 7 drinks. ok ok , i drank MUCHO lot-o with little food...but black outs just DO NOT happen to me with such a degree of absolutness.

i ususally remember bits and parts, and forget the little things until reminded. but i do not rememebr tim leaveing. what happened?

i feel so strange this morning for some reason.
i am supposed to go get breakfast, but i am not very hungry.

(no subject)

today has been very bizarre. i woke up from my nap, thinking it was 7:30 am. I wondered where stacy could be. i wondered who i was. I wondered if i was hungry, or if i owned a fridge. music, somewhere outside. forboding feeling of something i dont know ...

then i woke up for reals.
same thing, but no music and it was still saturday, and i knew i had a fridge. Called friends. Canceled plans so i could stay home tonight.

a plate fell and broke for no reason, while i as in my room folding up some clothing. eerie.

suddenly it is 10:06 and here i am. stacy is napping. i just feel very wigged out and strange. the potato gnocci didnt help at all. the dirty futon matress taking up the entire floor of my bedroom does not help either. disorganization, confusion, juxtaposition of things not to be juxtaposed. i will need to go to bed soon. soon. before midnight.

i feel as if something bad is going to happen. i hate it when i get like this, because, often something does.