March 16th, 2002

(no subject)

ok...im stressed out
i almost lost my boy because of something i wrote in here.

i am SO tired of losing people because of this project. i know its hard to have a real relationship with all this cronicling going on.
i know it is.

but, it hurts and its hard, you know, when people are about ready to drop you, no matter how caring and nice and all that stuff you are...because of this project. i know it would be better for me not to do it at all...but then, who would i be? a drone that goes to work every day, wiping the mist off the foggy bus windows with her coat sleeve...wondering if there was a better place, somewhere in the world where things happened and people really loved and created...

so, to the person i offended. im SO sorry. I really didnt realize how much my words would effect you.

i just want you to be happy. i just want B. to be happy.
and mostly, i want to be happy. more than anything.

i want my bad week of hell to just end.