March 28th, 2002

(no subject)

on the train. belly full of wine, and head intoxicated. I write feverishly, with handwriting so huge and messy, I barely make three words per line. A man points to the destination on the downtown E train.

To the World Trade Center

"Funny that it still goes there..."

I look at him. I am definately drunk.
"Not really funny," I say.

"No I guess not."
He looks half Asian. I think of Bohdi. I think of how much I miss Jaylene, and I am jealous of the warm Miami weather she is enjoying right now. We leave the E train. I run to catch the F train. He disappears.
The F train is waiting for me, so I run on, and plop down in the nearest empty seat. He is sitting in front of me. We smile and I pull out my journal. I do not want to talk to anyone.

(no subject)

i have been obsessively autobiographical lately. some is on the site. some is not.

somehow, there seems an intense importance in this. I realize I forget my memories. It is a joy to look back and see where I was then and there...It seems I used to know more than I know now.

I have written a check from my MBNA loan (originally for a mac) to pay the electric bill. mmm, 25% apr. it hurts. sadness.