April 4th, 2002

(no subject)

I stumble loudly down the subway steps. His figure fades above the cement. I am silly-embarassed. Everyone must be able to tell how intoxicated I am, how covered my lips and face are with kisses.

Cheeks glowing neon in pink and red. Everyone turns to stare at the girl who was wrapped up in the beautiful boy on the corner, standing on her tiptoes to get a better aim at his lips. Yes, that is the girl who was undressed right there in the street before entering the subway. She let him remove one layer at a time until she was naked and speechless and staring down because there were no more collars to hide behind. Drunk on kisses, he flows through her veins until she smells like him.

I lean against the wall. Sleepy evening commuters pay no attention, but I smile to myself. I think of what I need to say, and I cannot write down any of it because my journal is full and resting beside my computer back at my apartment.

There is a richness in him like the winds on a warm summer evening. Temperate, mingling with the emotions of a late night cafe, the ocean salt, or perfume from a nearby balcony.

"I think it's neat that we're often thinking the same things at the same time."

It is true and it has been a long time since I found a kindred spirit in this regard. I spend so much time in the mazes of other people that I forget that relationships with people are do not have to be based on these mazes...it is easy to forget this and forget myself. and it is only when I have almost lost myself that i run into someone else who finishes my sentences, understands about ants in the sidewalk, and coins words and definitions on a saturday afternoon.

He vibrantly paints about loose leaf tea, and Buella,his website, video games, (the desire to be man and machine, is this not THE sexiest thing to admit?!)...cooking, places i need to experience around the city. I feel he has a depth that I am starving for. I know there are mazes, but I feel no need to falsify. I cannot place my finger upon it, but I knew it was so less than an hour after I met his eyes on Houston Street. And again, in a moment, less than 24 hours later...
And tonight, I again feel quite intensely covered in this neon. His eyes were very bright and I could not say anything. Just smile foolishly, and glow feverishly.