April 13th, 2002

(no subject)

i want to record this badly, and i have no camera, since wil is using it for the drag videos for the party on Wednesday. ack ack ack!!!

i hate being without my camera.
oh anais, you are so right. journals are a disease.

but more so. an addiction. i need more and more.
it's never enough.

best chocolate sauce

for chocolate covered strawberries:

6oz semisweet chocolate
1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup kahlua

melt the chocolate in a double boiler, or very carefully over gas (LOW heat, stiring constantly)
mix in condensed milk. the chocolate will have a denser consistancy. stir well. remove from heat. whisk in Kahlua. cool 5-10 minutes. dip well chilled strawberries into chocolate, and place on wax paper. refrigerate if possible.


(no subject)

its is so frustrating not to be able to involve myself in the hair art around me. i want to play so badly, and my employment holds me back so much. i feel a change needs to happen soon. something.
the freedom to be is becoming more important. the freedom to live. but the rent is also important. i have a childhood of responsibility weighing on me: the parents of reason and saving and going to be before 12pm. they scold me every day. it's not as if i could ever coherantly enjoy not pay my bills, or anything. its not about bills. its about the myth of my life, the one that has been told over and over to me: and office job is better than an artist's job. Better to work in a cubicle than without. and i cannot leave. i have rent to pay. what would i do? even with 100 subscribers to the website, i still could not pay the rent and the bills. its a vicious self demeaning struggle.

and i still cannot spell.