March 30th, 2004

I need you so much closer...

Isnt it great when you place an order on with regular shipping and it comes the very next day? I ordered some rechargable batteries. I lost 2 of the previous ones I owned, leaving me with 2. Digital camera needs 4. I Was growing tired of using the AC adapter, so after Christmas, I stopped taking picures. Now I can again. Yay!

Now if only my DeathCab for Cutie CDs would get here. I dont think they have even shipped yet. Mmm, Transcendenalism. I fully recommend it, even if I cannot spell it. It has the birdie on the cover.

Talked to Mel last night, and I will have everyone know that she pretty much still rocks this world. Sucks having such a good friend so far away. I think Im in NYC to stay for a while, so more frequent trips to Portland might be what happens. I need ot travel more. Someday. Someday.

I just remembered that I can use the Aerobed we bought for guests to sleep on when I move out. Beds are always so expensive. I feel less stressed. Just slightly.

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BTW, it's really fucking cold here today. im turning into a lizard and my skin is peeling. Dryness all around.
Olive oil is barely helping.

Need 60's. Now.

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ok, 3rd update in 10 minutes.

I have to admit that I feel as if I am drifting away from J a bit. I felt very clingy on the day we talked. But today, not so much. I still love him. But, Im not IN love with him. I think I have known this for a long time. In fact, I have. But it's hard to admit. I have to be completely honest with myself and realize that there are things that I cannot imagine US doing anymore. Im in pain because I do not want to hurt him. I am released and at peace because I know this is the right way for me.
Sword handle, sword point. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.