May 12th, 2004

(no subject)

Salty pizza + mainlined coffee = extensive dehydration.
If I can drink 12 oz of water every 1/2 hour, not only will I rehydrate, but I can take frequent potty excursions to break up my day. This sounds like a plan. This morning dragged on like a fat baby.

Just because someone asked how things went...I woke up this morning quite glowing and contented in D's arms. Unfortunately, his alarm was set to NPR, so the first thing that jolted me awake were descriptive images of an Iraqi prisoner with a leg tied up behind his back. Followed by the American beheading, followed by some speech from Rumsfeld. (Ugha and vomit to all the above...) However, I did my duty by exciting things about 2 minutes before he ABSOLUTELY had to get up and take a shower (or risk being REALLY late). Enough time to tease, but not enough time to really do anything about it. ( ;)Yay, girl trix) He left at 7, and I studied for a little while, and and then watched the cadets line up on the roof of the police academy for roll take, or something. His place is really nice in the morning. I could have settled in with a cup of tea and really gotten some work done.

Alas, I took the train to work and here I am ready to grab any nearby razorblade to end it all now. Seriously. Im at that point. Im thinking of any possible way to NOT have to work here anymore. (Including pulling an Office Space "I hate my job. I dont think I'll go anymore." )But, $2000 a month in rent/bills (is forcing me to stay here. Even if I took a loan, one of the requirments is that I stay employed at the same job. Which is lame, because It would be good to take a smaller loan and do part time somewhere else. Blah. On top of that, I dont have enough time now to study everything I need to. Even last night, I reviewed the stretches and chair massage techniques Id learned in sports massage on D. Then we went over the functions of sympathetic chain ganglia. I sleep 4-5 hours a night now...D or not. It's getting a little overwhelming.

(no subject)

ok, i just applied and was conditionally approved for a small student loan. Enough to ease the pain of paying 1100/ month in rent. I figure 7K$ over 5 years is NOT going to kill me, and a little peace of mind is what needs to be happening right now. I hate owing money. I hate living on $100 or less a month in NYC even more. I wont EVER do it again.