July 1st, 2004

(no subject)

for some reason it pissed me off that James said he wasnt uncomfortable at all about meeting D on the phone just now. I mean, Im uncomfortable about them meeting. I think D is a little hesitant, as well. And Im a little weird about meeting James's new squeeze, Tiffany the 20 year old.

I must have been decieving myself when I thought we were as close as we were. He never fought for me once. Never. Even when I said goodbye, he just cried and gave up. And...I cant imagine that they ARENT having sex. And when he was "in love" with me, I couldnt get the time of day. Im just pissed about the talk without the follow through.
I dont think Im going to call him for awhile. I just need a clean break for a bit. no friends. just nothing. for a few weeks. months maybe. i dunno.

Im VERY happy with D. I'd never get back together with James, as this point. It's not about that, or being jealous. It's just I still feel like a doufus for really believing in that relationship. It makes is hard to trust what I have now. Sucks.