July 30th, 2008

its starting to get hard

to be without my jo.

im trying not to think about it. but i feel pretty sad today and he's not replying to my skypes. I know he's very busy working on my videos for me. So, what can I really say? I'm all gratitude, for sure. I guess it's just that we have 2 very distinct relationships: business and personal. Business emails are good and business progress is good in terms of possible future revenue (aka, not having to work extra english teaching shifts), but they are not so satisfying for the soul. Ive been mixing the two relationships up a little bit..."he loves me because he's working so hard on my videos" And I know it's true...I wonder if he'd even care at all about Nekomimilisa.com if there was no personal vested interest in me...and then I wonder if NL.com can actually be successful at all...if his view isnt just clouded by me. im full of doubts today. i cant seem to get out of the house. im bored. grouchy. and yeah, sad.
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    blah blah

feeling better

im better now. i think mornings are just hard for...some reason. no one to turn over onto and squash, maybe. a fun day at school. i fun day walking in asaka. no pool found tho. it's impossible to find them for some reason. i will keep trying. I wrote to 2 leads about teams yesterday, but no return emails from the team or the tokyo fitness writer. sigh. and no reply from my friend about his team either. neko never gives up. grrrr.