there is someone in my life now. there are some of you out there that may know her. she keeps a journal here. i don't know what her user name is and have not asked. i feel as though these are her thoughts and feelings and it would be rude of me to intrude without permission. i want to to want to share all of herself with me. i want to be able to learn as much as i can for as long as possible. we have only been seeing each other for a short time, yet i feel strongly for her already. there is an energy that pulses between us, a secret bond. i crave her when she is not near. i wish to be able to wrap her in my arms forever and roll around in eternity. i know there are things that may arise that might be difficult for me and it does not matter. only she.
we first me online. nerve.com. i had sent her a small note not really expecting a reply. i got one. and my life has changed. we agreed to meet for a drink that night. 1:30 in the morning being struck by the beauty headed my way. i couldn't get over the sparkle in her eyes and the energetic smile. we talked and talked and talked. "last call", a shout above the music. neither if us were finished with the company yet so we decided to carry on in another location. "smalls?" i suggest. she was unaware of it. we head out across town. i completely intoxicated from her. wandering the streets of manhattan at 4:30 in the morning. i missed my bearings and was not able to locate our destination. a homeless man sensed my plight and offered to be our guide for the staggering fee of one dollar. onward he led us through the creaks and corners of the village. a small glowing door with narrow stairs led underground. miscellaneous strangers scattered about the entryway. "10 dollars, i'm not paying that" the voice climbs up the stairs with the feet it's carried on. i had mistakenly assumed that after 4 am they would stop charging cover. we concurred with the voice and continued walking. over the course of the evening it was revealed that she had a naivete about the city. still unexplored, still new. still open for me to show her. i led her down to a sculpture park along the hudson. statues of battered innocence. a childs fantasy and an adults nightmare. they speak of a cruel yet honest world where what you see is what you get. and on we walked. the sun rose to great us and the great clock across the water kept time with our pace. the city floated by, my head in the clouds. strange beauty the city holds. secret revelations for the 5 in the morning crowds. we are at the tip. the great skyline peeks over our shoulders as we sit and watch the tug boats tug by. the frailty of the human body announces itself with the grumble of a stomach (or two). as the eggs chase the bacon round the dinner plate in my mind, i find myself in heaven in the arms of a beautiful girl. up we go. wall street, union square. transfer of the n, the r, the w, the q, 4,5 and L trains. florent was the destination. the sign on the door said 24 hours fridays and saturdays. false advertising. and we walk. the empire diner. sleek, shiny and empty at 9 in the morning on a Saturday. the food is just what you would expect. dinerish. forgettable. my attention was elsewhere. up we go again. wandering through the gallery filled streets of west chelsea, she invites me back to brooklyn. i wonder how many others have gone this route but realize that it does not matter for i have found someone to call my own. everyone has a history. we take a downtown train. the idea of sleep has come and gone and i find myself not concerned. 24 hours have gone by and it seems like a minute in the presence of this girl. ideas. "the cemetery?" she suggests.
having not been there and having always appreciated the beauty and serenity of these places we head off hand in hand. we weave through the headstones and Mausoleums. examining the names and places of those now gone. what their lives must have been like, i can't imagine. just like mine i suppose, full of love, fear and life. we are lost. with each other and within the cemetery. the strong spring sun beats down upon us coloring our skin. we sit and relish each other. the hour grows longer and the heat with it. we stumble our way out of the hallowed ground far away from our point of entry. blocks of brooklyn pass by at a foot's pace. the color and the culture of life in the boroughs. her apartment is cool, a reprieve from the sun. she makes me lunch. nobody besides my mother has ever made me lunch. the wonders never cease. three in the afternoon. nap time. we retire to the bedroom with that intent. three hours later, sleep comes. as i write this my fingers burn for want of touch. smooth, beautiful. 9pm the alarm goes off and i reluctantly leave this girl.
my thoughts are always with her and of her. i have been blessed and cursed all at once. i fell in love.