im at oberlin. my old highschool love, Billy Holaday (dont laugh) is there talking with Eric Johnson and Kim Gibbons. (also from high school) I walk up to say hi and eric and kim split. Im talking with Billy who's in a big hurry to get to the conservatory. He's confident and tells me he's working on a masters dissertation to guarantee him a job. I ask him if a research paper is necessary to get a orchestra job (he went to school for trumpet), and he says yes. On the way, we run into Angelina Jolie and this girl rachel from high school. Billy says hi, and I forget the rest, but they are all very friendly. But, we hurry on to the conservatory over this huge lawn. And I feel sad that he has no time for me, almost to the point where i feel we dont know each other anymore and he has his own life. Suddenly, Im looking at a road map of the eastern USA, deciding where to go...looking at New Hampshire and scanning all the way down to Virginia. There are extra small states here and there, and i am surprised to find that both virginia and west virginia are almost the same size as delaware. Delaware, which is now located under michigan. and then it is christmas. im at my parents house. all the lights are off on a cloudy day. it feels slow and gray. i look out the window at all the colorful cars parked across the street at the neighbors place: bright red and tan and white. Car colors, but seemingly bright in the white snow thats falling. and I turn back into the house and i am alone in the gray on christmas. this is how i awoke this morning. And when I opened my eyes, I realized the gray that the dream self felt was depression. I wondered what had every happened to Billy Holaday. Realized the girl we ran into that looked so familiar was angalina jolie with sunglasses. I thought about my old high school band instructor, Mr. Hartman. (Actually phil hartman...dont laugh at all these coincidental names which are absolutely truthful). this lead to wondering if my high school was going to organize a 10 year reunion next year, and if i could even go, since Ive already kinda planned to take a vacation in April and August already. Would work let me off again? what does this all mean? I shake it off and decided to write it all down, if the roomie's computer is available in the kitchen. shes sleeping, and of course, the computer was available.