an email to jaylene
Memoirs of college:
For Jay.
Sept 3, 1996
First day of college...Jaylene and Kristen have become good friends. At the moment, they are singing various songs out the window...Jay is sick...shouldnt have said anything about Dan. Im going to get hell for it now...
Sept 8 1996:
..right now i have to choose. i want his[dan's]
friendship, and yet i remember what ignoring things
does...Jaylene's fortune wasn't quite right [i guess we musta ate at hunan] Kristen says we are in denial.
Perhaps she's right.
Jan 28th-25th, 1997
I have spent this whole last friday talking with Noah. right now he is passed out on my bed, but it's all good, you know.. (i think i have told myself that about a billion times this evening..) I love people like him- so romantically inclined. James[harris] is pissed off at me. Jaylene is over at alec's. I think i have mono. Noah asked me to kiss him. I dont want to. I drank too much. I am writing to stay awake....
Feb 12th 1997-
I think its the 12th. I lose track quickly. Tonight was one of the best nights here. I went sledding with Kris, Henry, Tim and James. Then we, except for Henry who had to practice for piano class, went to 4th meal. Ate WAY too much, but it was so great being with my friends, talking away over greasy eggroles, cookies, mystery mexican sticks, coffee, soda,and bagels....I
wonder if Tim picked up the subtle hints...
He asked us at dinner is he should do something
radical for Valentines day. I suppose that to mean
hes telling the girl he likes how he feels. Definatly, i said...
Feb 14th-
I hate valentines day. I wonder who Tim's girl is?
She's lucky. I hope she knows it.
April 3,4 something..
Jaylene is sleeping. Kris is gone somewhere. Tim,
James and Henry are doing horn trios. Andre and chris are looking are gaudy jewelry. Lisa feels
thoughtful...It's such a gorgeous evening: the first time since september i could come out here without a coat. its been a LONG winter. Im sitting on the "horse shoe" as it gets called by the orientation people. Sitting in the same spot i started smoking...I remember that night pretty distinctly. Dan was high and kinda ditched me...yeah it was after one of those doozie parties. Jaylene and kris were asleep when i quietly entered the room. It was hard to keep quiet, rustling wrappers and such, searching for Jay's carton of Marlboro lights under her bed..but i grabbed
a box and found the pink lighter. I sulked out here on this horse shoe. Lit up. inhaled deeply. i hated
it....I can see the gazebo from here, perfectly. I remember making out there with Dan. I remember telling him about my past...I can see the bench across the way from the Gazebo where we lay in each other's arms on a warm night, avoiding going home until we were in jeaopardy of falling asleep like that. That same bench a drunk Andy Shapiro tried to seduce me a month ago. these paths hold their own history as well, where on a rainy night a few pages back, I decided to start seeing dan, where i jumped on the infamous block in the crossroad's center, and later received a bad Music History 101 grade...
One path leads to the con. I remember the
beginning..Kate, who i thought was cool because of her clothes..Kris all quiet and hanging out wiht Louie. Henry would ignore me. I rememeber seeing Tim in my theory class and of course i was attrracted to him the first time i set eyes on him. The shy Jay accompanied me to McDonalds. James Priest..the cool guy with the goatee in Burton who jay thought was hot. I thought he was a sophomore sleaze..a good catch and popular. Little did i know he was just like me. Carrie- that
tall girl I always saw smoking outside the con..we
were the new kids here. Outsiders looking
in...gibsons has closed. so has the hunan.
Sept 11, 1997-
He[eric shlightger] treated me with more respect in
one evening than i got all last semester-
As speed has been a detrimental factor in things, I
was so happy when he said "You can have me as you want
me" K and J interpret it in different ways. J as "wow,
you got him!" and K as "what a line..."
2 days later: "Fuck that asshole!"
anyways...
i was reading my journal, and i just had to reminice.
jermay doesnt understand anything..
so, i have to email people i know..
cheers
L
For Jay.
Sept 3, 1996
First day of college...Jaylene and Kristen have become good friends. At the moment, they are singing various songs out the window...Jay is sick...shouldnt have said anything about Dan. Im going to get hell for it now...
Sept 8 1996:
..right now i have to choose. i want his[dan's]
friendship, and yet i remember what ignoring things
does...Jaylene's fortune wasn't quite right [i guess we musta ate at hunan] Kristen says we are in denial.
Perhaps she's right.
Jan 28th-25th, 1997
I have spent this whole last friday talking with Noah. right now he is passed out on my bed, but it's all good, you know.. (i think i have told myself that about a billion times this evening..) I love people like him- so romantically inclined. James[harris] is pissed off at me. Jaylene is over at alec's. I think i have mono. Noah asked me to kiss him. I dont want to. I drank too much. I am writing to stay awake....
Feb 12th 1997-
I think its the 12th. I lose track quickly. Tonight was one of the best nights here. I went sledding with Kris, Henry, Tim and James. Then we, except for Henry who had to practice for piano class, went to 4th meal. Ate WAY too much, but it was so great being with my friends, talking away over greasy eggroles, cookies, mystery mexican sticks, coffee, soda,and bagels....I
wonder if Tim picked up the subtle hints...
He asked us at dinner is he should do something
radical for Valentines day. I suppose that to mean
hes telling the girl he likes how he feels. Definatly, i said...
Feb 14th-
I hate valentines day. I wonder who Tim's girl is?
She's lucky. I hope she knows it.
April 3,4 something..
Jaylene is sleeping. Kris is gone somewhere. Tim,
James and Henry are doing horn trios. Andre and chris are looking are gaudy jewelry. Lisa feels
thoughtful...It's such a gorgeous evening: the first time since september i could come out here without a coat. its been a LONG winter. Im sitting on the "horse shoe" as it gets called by the orientation people. Sitting in the same spot i started smoking...I remember that night pretty distinctly. Dan was high and kinda ditched me...yeah it was after one of those doozie parties. Jaylene and kris were asleep when i quietly entered the room. It was hard to keep quiet, rustling wrappers and such, searching for Jay's carton of Marlboro lights under her bed..but i grabbed
a box and found the pink lighter. I sulked out here on this horse shoe. Lit up. inhaled deeply. i hated
it....I can see the gazebo from here, perfectly. I remember making out there with Dan. I remember telling him about my past...I can see the bench across the way from the Gazebo where we lay in each other's arms on a warm night, avoiding going home until we were in jeaopardy of falling asleep like that. That same bench a drunk Andy Shapiro tried to seduce me a month ago. these paths hold their own history as well, where on a rainy night a few pages back, I decided to start seeing dan, where i jumped on the infamous block in the crossroad's center, and later received a bad Music History 101 grade...
One path leads to the con. I remember the
beginning..Kate, who i thought was cool because of her clothes..Kris all quiet and hanging out wiht Louie. Henry would ignore me. I rememeber seeing Tim in my theory class and of course i was attrracted to him the first time i set eyes on him. The shy Jay accompanied me to McDonalds. James Priest..the cool guy with the goatee in Burton who jay thought was hot. I thought he was a sophomore sleaze..a good catch and popular. Little did i know he was just like me. Carrie- that
tall girl I always saw smoking outside the con..we
were the new kids here. Outsiders looking
in...gibsons has closed. so has the hunan.
Sept 11, 1997-
He[eric shlightger] treated me with more respect in
one evening than i got all last semester-
As speed has been a detrimental factor in things, I
was so happy when he said "You can have me as you want
me" K and J interpret it in different ways. J as "wow,
you got him!" and K as "what a line..."
2 days later: "Fuck that asshole!"
anyways...
i was reading my journal, and i just had to reminice.
jermay doesnt understand anything..
so, i have to email people i know..
cheers
L