This will be my first real weekend without Yuu. and IM SO HAPPY! I made a pact with the viewers after the Roppongi incident #2 that I wouldn't go into graphic details anymore...so I'm not. there was never any more physical violence, but there was so much jealousy from him and forced arguing initiated by him that I just couldn't stand even looking at his face. I just had it with crying my eyes out every weekend in an attempt to persuade him that I wasn't dating anyone else. Tired of trying to explain messages on my cell phone from my guy friends - totally innocent "let's hang out soon" messages. And feeling shamed and pissed off when he told me that his friends FELT SORRY for him having to PUT UP WITH ME. Fuck you asshole!! I told him to stop talking to me and after a day of emails and WHY..and IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU..and WE ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER...it stopped. And I walked home from the train station eying every guy, scared it would be him waiting for me, or something. Paranoia. And now I'm sick from the stress...
But on the mend. Which brings be back to the whole wonderful THIS weekend..a birthday party I don't have to feel guilty attending and 2 whole days afterward to do whatever the FUCK I want to without having to see anyone...or seeing whomever I chose (included guys who were always JUST FRIENDS) that caused many a draining evening.
And on THAT note, I have a friend from Cali in town. He's Japanese, but living in LA. I completely forgot how we met, to be honest. Musta been online someone, but it wasnt related to NL.com. It's been almost a year of skyping, but we're finally gonna meet up. He's here visiting his grandpa in Osaka, but dropping into Tokyo this weekend to visit old friends and ME. yay! I invited him to the b-day party, in case he felt like going and meeting more crazy gaijin :)
But yes, ive vacuumed, cleaned all the dishes, done all the laundry. erased all text messages and emails from Yuu. I tried to remove every scrap and particle from it's existence. And today, it was so sunny, and even tho I have no voice at all, I took a walk to the bank and paid my rent and health insurance dues. I went to the city office and found out where I can get my re-entry permit for immigration when I return from overseas Christmas celebrations. :) I feel free and just about happy again! :)
Oh, and thanks JOJO. :)