awakesharing, conversations, discovery, FUN. rants and raves. bathtub poetry. just being me. unprofitable, random, screw off (in the nicest way) if you dont like/get/wanna know ME.
what is that's prevented me from all these things?
"progress and profits". yes- those p words.
i always had my platform -a livestreaming camera of one sort or another, video and photo journals and this ole thing. this livejournal. and then, in the name of progress (klatcher/ consolidation/ being more public/ getting mobile/ trying to find a schtick/ making money)it just all clouded up in a heap of dust. i was told not to use anything that pulled away from a main website (nekomimilisa.com) . but you know what? whats the best way to communicate with everyone? FACEBOOK. where can i post photos? FACEBOOK. whats the best way for me to broadcast at the moment - jtv. where the best place to land a rant. HERE. where can i post my videos? youtube.
im sure i have it all wrong, but i dont think so. the fact of the matter is, im not packaged. im not blonde (not really!). i dont give a rats bloody ass about the newest tech. i was never a tech geek. im my own geek and it will never "sell" as so many people have hoped. i never really hoped. ive always sorta accepted that ill never be popular or rich (since about age 10! haha), but every time i start to get comfortable someone or something reminds me that other people are making a living from the web and pushes me towards it. and i get an idea like it could work for me. but it doesnt. and its OK. im OK with it, you hear me? i just wanna be lisa and start just doing that again. not for profit. just for me.
what is livecasting/ life archiving to me? its a fun waste of time. its art. its something that i would think would be totally cool to find 50 years from now -- the archiving of the major events in someones life for most of their adult life via writing, video, and livecasting footage. to others it's boring shit. but people say that about classical music or poetry or well, you get my drift. Me myself and I would think it was cool ,so im doing it. and thats the point.
"i wonder if everything i do....i do instead...of something i want to do more...the question fills my head...and i know theres no great plan here..thats the just way it goes..at least i know i do it for the joy it brings"
ive been singing those lyrics for a couple of days not knowing why. but i do now. i just wanna do what make me happy.