Nekomimi Lisa (lisagoddess) wrote,
Nekomimi Lisa

Tis Thursday

im a mess. i need to figure myself out again. ive been putting songs on repeat in hopes of finding more meaning than they lyrics sings. i cant even talk to jeramy without feeling hes completely patronizing. so much has happened...the move, the struggle for a job, switching jobs, the break-up, trying to "date" again. (as if i ever DATE...when was the last time someone took ME out to dinner and tried to impress the hell outta ME?)
I got stood up my the D last night. HE didnt even bother to call at 7. proly forgot he said he was going to the night before, being drunk off his ass at 5am. It just hurt, cause i realized again how bad i was at the whole seeing people thing. being with someone for a year makes you forget, you know? but yeah, i was bummed. i was going to go to williamsburgh and drink, but i ended up hanging with my girl evelyn and her roomate and talking and eating doritos. im not totally crushed or anything. barely in a bad mood today. wasnt the case, last night, but yeah, im ok. but im still a mess. what do i need? im a catipillar spinning my cocoon. evolving.
im justy worried im going to do harm to myself while i figure out what i need for the next stage in my life.
sigh. time to work. its 9am. grunt groan

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