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he crept into my room like a stealth rapist, chilling me, even though i was almost sweating under the tossled and turned quilt. This exersize was made even more extrordinary because earlier when he left for the party, he threatened me saying--

"There better not be anyone in here when I get home..."

He didnt even knock. It was as if there were no door. I could smell the liquor on his breath as he kissed me and ran his hands between my bare breasts.

"I still love you, you know. You were all I could think about tonight. There were so many pretty girls at the party, but all I wanted to do was come home to you..."

He continued to wash his hands over my stomach and thighs, thankfully neglecting to hit any sparks that might lead to a firely mistake.

I tell him: " If I made love to you tonight it would only end in more hurt for you. Do I need to do anything else to you as this point?"

After a bit more pawing, and with me too sick and too tired to do much else except avoid his small wet kisses and dragon tongue, he pulls himself of of me to leave.

"Well, if you really want me, you will come into my room and sleep next to me and ravish me, take me, like you used to."

The door shut. He left me no choice but to fall back asleep.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 27th, 2001 07:00 am (UTC)
damn Lisa... and I though my life was hard...
Aug. 27th, 2001 07:11 am (UTC)
Aug. 27th, 2001 08:24 am (UTC)
Double plus yikes!
Aug. 27th, 2001 09:21 am (UTC)
okay, so, he comes into your room uninvited, fondles you sexually without permission and you use the phrase "like a stealth rapist"? Guess what? Roommate or not, ex-Honey or not, the bastard just committed a crime. I don't give two bits for your money woes, get out of there ASAP meaning NOW! My GOD, surely you know someone who'll put you up on a temporary basis?

Forgive me for saying this but "WAKE UP YOU DOPE!!! This is a textbook abusive relationship and you are letting it happen!!!!"

Aug. 27th, 2001 09:46 am (UTC)
Kick his ass out!
At first I thought you were talking about a dream you had. That was more like a nightmare!
Aug. 27th, 2001 10:01 am (UTC)
I Wish This Was Something Else
When I read it, I was hoping that you were taking up "creative writing" but that doesn't appear to be the case. It sounds like your breakup is not working. Between his cat and this, I would like to give you the same comments that some of the others did: get out of there. It is starting to get spooky and dangerous. He is yelling over little things that are not your fault (i.e, his cat) which kinda tells me he thinks of you more of still being a "couple" rather than roomates.

Breakups are very hard, but when your "ex" is still hanging around, there are a lot of interpersonal problems that will only escalate over time and either one or both of you will leave, or something violent will happen.

I think the time has come to move on.

Aug. 27th, 2001 01:35 pm (UTC)
Don't push your luck
You are very close to live a very hard experience.
The next time he is drunk and horny he probably will rape you.
Leave now and I mean NOW..........
No money problem is worth being raped or hit.
Violence should NEVER be tolerated.
Your Friend....
Aug. 27th, 2001 03:07 pm (UTC)
what a bizarre and twisted situation to live with a person who would give their life for you..
who after three months, smells your perfume and breaks down sobbing.

he touches my hair and looks deeply into my eyes one night, and the next evening is screaming at me about the messed up life we have that is not entirely all his fault.

I cannot believe he would ever do anything to harm me. He is too passive. But he will rest on top of me in utter sadness and tears and wish to God he could have done something different.
I know where this feeling churns and grows, because I still feel that way about a certain boy in Ohio. I would not act out as much as Jeramy, as it has been almost 3 years (or is it 4!) since the day he left a shattered glass doll in the street. But I know. I am compassionate.
We lie there in the darkness, each alone with our sadness.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


Nekomimi Lisa

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